How to deal with a break-up

Breakups really know how to be a drag, no matter if the relationship lasted 4 weeks, 4 months or 4 years. You connect with a person on so many levels and after a while, because of different and diverse reasons – the relationship is gone for good. Things like that are hard, but what makes us stronger is the way we cope with them and rise above.

Here are some advises on how to cope with s break-up and resolve your feelings in a nice, healthy way that won’t define you as a person, but instead will make you become better and wiser:

• Detach yourself from everything that reminds you on your ex-lover

Whining and crying over little gifts, moments or memories you have together will make you feel more left-out and depressed. In the first period, try to get your mind off of things that happened. Running in circles in your mind will be just wasting time and feeling worse and worse.

• Write your feelings down

Suppressing feelings won’t do any good. You want to solve the problem in your mind, but only do that when you’re ready. Writing your feelings down is very commonly used as a psychological exercise of expressing – write the things you think or feel, write everything that was left unsaid, even do a short list of your qualities to boost your confidence. Don’t send the writings or obsess with them, just keep them as a reminder on where you stand in that break-up. You could even get rid of the writings once you get over the break-up. That would be a nice closure and will in a way free you from everything that happened in that relationship (including the break-up as a final act).

• Talk with your friends

You need to surround yourself with people that love and cherish you. No matter who ended the relationship, it’s scientifically proven that a break-up lowers your confidence and people tend to make a negative image about themselves after a break-up. Thinking what could have been done differently, whose fault if was, different outcomes or possible scenarios are things that might cross your mind, but talk it through with people that will show you that you’re good on your own. Talk with friends and arrange a nice night out where you’ll have a good time on your own. But, take care – don’t get wasted and act out. Don’t send post break-up messages or jump into a ,,getting over,, relationship or one night stands. Any other relationship you start should be slow and deep and not done under the impressions and emotions of a breakup.

• Dedicate time and attention to yourself

As I mentioned before a break-up means that you’re back on yourself again. So, do the things you want to do. Work out, take time for yourself, dress nicely, and surround yourself with nice people and emotions… All in all – be yourself and follow your wishes. Oh, don’t forget that some of those things might also be things you’ve done with your ex, but instead of looking on them like that, concentrate on the fact that you do them all on your own now and it feels liberating that you don’t need that other person to be yourself.

Relationships are hard and break-ups are even harder, but if you follow these leads, you’ll be good in no time. Don’t rush and “fake it until you make it”, but take your time and really get over everything. You know that you’ll get better, so don’t rush it but try to use the time to really get better in a healthy way.